The Perfectly Imperfect Mama

Weekend Wrap Up . . .

by Whitney Pegram - Monday, February 13, 2017

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DIY :: Closet to Mudroom

by Whitney Pegram - Thursday, February 09, 2017

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Workin' It Wednesday :: Keeping Our Marriage Strong

by Whitney Pegram - Wednesday, February 08, 2017

Hey Hey!

Today I'm linking up with Shay & Erika for Workin' It Wednesday. And today we are talking all things marriage.

I thought with this kind of post that it would be neat to ask for my hubby's input too, so everyone say Hi to my sweet hubby because he's just as much a part of this post today as I am :).

We aren't here to make it look like we have a perfect marriage, because trust us ... we don't. But what we would love for you to know is that God can restore any marriage. Yes, even one that is completely broken.

The fact that we can even share a blog post with you about our marriage brings tears to my eyes. Our marriage has definitely seen the darkest of days. Back in 2015 we went through absolute heartache in our marriage ... so much that we weren't even sure we'd make it through it. But we did and only by the grace of God. We would not be where we are at today without Him.

So much stronger.

Best friends.

Teammates.

It's just so amazing to look back in that dark time of our marriage to where we are today.

We aren't here to talk all about that though because if you ask either one of us we will tell you that it's done & over with, all has been forgiven & we refused to let Satan win that battle.

So, how do we keep our marriage strong now!?!

I asked Dan to give me three things he thought that kept us strong & funny enough two of each things on our lists were the exact same thing.

His:

Keeping God first

Communication

Making time for us

Mine:

Keeping God first

Communication

Honesty

Keeping God first - This is HUGE and sadly we haven't always lived our marriage this way. It's extremely important to pray together and to also pray for each other. In every decision we make, big or small, we pray for God' will. We want Him to always be the center of our marriage.

Communication - Another one we haven't always been the best at. You know what they say . . . "communication is key." And it really is. Just in the past couple years anytime I'm feeling a certain way or Dan is feeling a certain way, we go to each other & tell it. We don't go talk to other people about it . . . we talk to each other.

Making time for us - When our marriage went through such a hard time in 2015, our counselor [yes, we went to counseling & it's one of the best things we ever did] recommended we read The Five Love Languages. Here we were married six years & didn't even know each other's love language. So if you're reading this & you & your hubby/fiancé haven't read it ... read it! After we finished it & learned each other's love language we were like "well heck, that explains it." :) There is no doubt about it, one of Dan's love languages is quality time. [Cooper's too. Like father, like son ;)] So it didn't surprise me at all when "making time for us" was on his list. Being a mama to little ones, my attention is always on them so when Dan can get me on a date along . . . he loves it! And I'd be lying if I said I didn't love it, too!

Honesty - This one goes along with communication. We have to be honest about our feelings. We often ask each other the question "how full is your love tank?" I never, and he doesn't either, want to ever say "full" and it not really be. Or the famous "are you ok" question & us answering "I'm fine" when we're really not. We have to be honest with each other.

We want our kiddos to look at us & want the kind of marriage we have. We kiss and hug in front of them . . . we are playful in front of them . . . they've seen us argue [which we try not to do in front of them] but if we do, we always make sure they see us apologize to one another and ask for forgiveness. We also make sure they hear us tell the other that we do forgive them.

It's crazy when you go through something so big like we did, the arguments we have now are so small. It's like we start & then think "this is nothing compared to what we've overcome."

Ugly confession . . . for so long I was trying to make Dan the husband and dad I wanted him to be. When I really should have been loving the way God made him & asking God to make him the husband & dad HE wanted him to be.

Marriage is hard . . .

But it is so beautiful.