Today I Will Smile . . . - The Perfectly Imperfect Mama

Today I Will Smile . . .

by - Saturday, October 29, 2016

Oh my Ruthie Belle, it's your due date ... or at least what we thought was going to be.  I have to admit . . . back in February I thought this specific day would look a lot different than it actually does.  But today, my sweet girl, I will smile even if it is with tear filled eyes.  And when I do, please don't think it's because my heartache isn't there because it most definitely is & I'm positive a portion of it will always be.

Today I will smile as I think of your maw-maws, paw-paws & your cousin all passing you around in your forever home & are just "oohing & ahhing" over you.

When you look down on your mommy, daddy, big brother, & your big sister today while we are remembering your sweet little life & you see me smiling, it's not because I don't miss you ... because I do.  I miss you terribly.  But today I will smile because I know you, my sweet Ruthie Belle, are safe in the arms of Jesus.  And though I will always wonder who you would've been here earth, I know for a fact who you are now in Heaven ... a beautiful, perfect, tiny angel.

You are always on my mind, sweet girl.

Cooper & Millie Jo are so excited to celebrate your "birthday" today & when they asked if we could get you a cupcake, sing Happy Birthday to you & send you balloons, I couldn't say no.

So today is your day . . . just as it would be if you were physically here with us.  And every October 29th from now on, we will smile & celebrate you because you, my sweet angel girl, are a part of our family & you always, always, always will be.  You are what made us go from the Pegram 4 to the Pegram 5.  I am so thankful for your life.

I love you, Ruthie Belle.  With all of my heart.


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  1. Such sweet words to your baby girl. Praying for you and your family today.

  2. I'm sorry for your loss. <3 What a blessing to know that she's with Jesus though. Have you heard the song I Will Carry You by Selah? It makes me cry every time but blesses me at the same time. Hugs!

    1. I have not but I am going to find it now! Thank you!

  3. So sorry for your loss. Prayers to you and your family. Such beautiful words.