How God Saved Our Marriage : Grace That Is Greater - The Perfectly Imperfect Mama

How God Saved Our Marriage : Grace That Is Greater

by - Friday, May 04, 2018

Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.
Mark 10:9

[Whitney]  We sat downstairs that night and Dan asked me if I loved this other man.  That if I did, then I needed to be with him.  I didn't even hesitate.  This won't make much sense to many of you but after getting caught, even though the shame and embarrassment were there, I felt so much relief.  I knew for a fact I shouldn't have been doing what I was doing but I was so far into it that I didn't know what to do.  I had been living this lie for so long that it was literally eating at me.  I knew it was wrong.  Just like I knew that I didn't really love this man like I thought I did.  I knew it was not of God.  I begged Dan that night to fight for me.  I had made the biggest mistake of my life and I knew that.  I needed him to fight for our marriage.

But we both knew that it wasn't something that was going to be fixed over night.  And we both knew that this wasn't something that we could just sweep right underneath the rug. 

A week went by and we didn't hardly speak.

[Daniel]  I still had a lot of questions that I needed answered.  Ones that I wanted to ask but didn't know if I really wanted the answers to.

[Whitney] That next weekend, Dan and I decided to get away just the two of us.  But trust me, this was not your typical romantic getaway.  We needed time together to really talk things out and I needed to get him away from the situation.  It was my chance to sit him down and tell him everything.  We got to the beach on Friday afternoon and he started asking me all the questions.  We sat out by the ocean and he asked the question I had been dreading the most ... "were y'all physical?"  I sat right there and told him no.  How was I supposed to tell my husband, the man God made just for me, that I had been physical with another man?  I was so afraid.

[Daniel] A part of me knew that Whitney wasn't telling me everything.  It had just gone on way too long this time for something not to have happened.

[Whitney]  That night we decided to go eat dinner so Dan went to take a shower.  I stood in that hotel room pacing back and forth knowing that I needed to tell him the truth because if our marriage was going to survive this, the foundation could not be built on a lie.  I even walked to the bathroom door, opened it and then shut it back.  I was terrified.  I sat down at the little table in the room and even though I didn't feel worthy enough, I prayed.  I asked God for forgiveness and I asked Him to be in the room and control Dan's reaction.  Dan got out of the shower and  I told him I needed to tell him everything.  And so I did.  And it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  I told him every single thing and let him ask me any question he had whatsoever.  The lies had to stop.  He didn't get mad, he didn't lose his temper. Right there in that hotel room, he pulled me on his lap, buried his head into my chest and cried like a baby.  We both sat there crying and I poured my heart out apologizing to him over and over again.  It was then that I knew that we were both going to do whatever it took for our marriage to overcome this.  Was it going to be easy?  No way.  Were there going to be days, even months, that Satan tried to fill our heads with lies?  Absolutely. Would it take months for Dan to be able to fully forgive me?  Yes. Was it going to take a very long time for Dan to trust me again?  Yes.  Did I understand that there would be consequences for my actions, such as people judging me, ugly emails, comments on my blog or private Facebook messages?  Of course. But instead of Dan and I going at each other, we went hand in hand and refused to let Satan have the victory in destroying our marriage.

That next day, we sat out by the ocean again.  Our communication still almost non existent.  And while we sat there, we called the other man from Dan's phone.  I needed Dan to hear me tell him that it was done.  That no contact whatsoever needed to happen after that phone call. 

It was my job to start earning Dan's trust back because I wanted our marriage to overcome this so bad.  I took my family, that God blessed me with, for granted and I never wanted to do that again.


Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for Your grace.
Every single prayer we pray, You answer.  Sometimes You answer with yes, sometimes no and sometimes wait but Jesus that day sitting in that hotel room, You answered yes to my prayer and I thank You for that.  I knew that Dan needed to know the truth and I knew that our marriage could not heal if he didn't. 
Lord, if someone is reading this today and has gone through or is going through a similar situation, I pray that he or she will be open and honest if they were the one in the wrong.  And I pray that their spouse will be willing to listen and show them the grace that Dan showed me.

You are good, Jesus.
Amen.




xo














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2 comments

  1. Whitney, there are no words but thank you for sharing this very personal part of your story. God's redemption song is sweet and His grace is unexplainable! Thankful for His miraculous hand on your marriage!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Erin! HIS grace is enough! So thankful for that!

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